Apologies for the long delay between blogs but I have been working on a new home/website for the blog which should be up soon.
In the meantime I am long overdue for my rant of the week: recreational cyclists.
I am going to declare my hand upfront. I love road race cycling, hell in my teenage years cycling was my sport. At 55kg it was either cycling or training as a garden gnome. Even now I wistfully reminisce re the 80's tours with Greg Lemonds ground breaking Tour De France win against the badger Bernard Hinault, Stephen Roches' great triple crown year and one of my favourite movies is still Kevin Costners homage to road cycling, American Flyers.
Now despite my overt display of man love for the sport of cycling the burning question I have is why fundamentally are so many recreational cyclists complete and utter dicks!
1) Firstly where is their concept of hygiene? I can't tell you how many times I am exposed to some dripping sweaty guy leaping into the lift no shoes stinking of the street as they wander into the building following their morning ride. Furthermore in coffee shops each weekend they drape their ridiculous lycra clad bodies all over the seats spreading nice tepid pools of their sweat for the rest of the patrons to marinate in once they are gone.
2) Fat people wearing lycra. Just because you managed to squeeze yourself into Lance Armstrong's replica US Postal team jersey doesn't mean your lumpy 100kg frame is magically easier on the eye...IT ISN'T you look out of shape AND ridiculous!
3) Stay the fuck out of coffee shops. I have lost count of how many times the serenity of Saturday morning breakfast at the local coffee shop is interrupted by a peloton converging at the counter sans bikes. Can you imagine sitting at your table chowing down then being confronted by a mass of sweaty noisy idiots in lycra hobbling back and forth on their quick release shoes. My question is, when did it become habit for a hard training ride to be punctuated by coffee and a muffin!!! Go home carbo load and do your recovery you silly Fucks!
Now I am cognizant that there are quite a number of numb nuts in the gym as well. Actually many of them appear to train at my gym. The difference is most of these wife beater wearing, creatine breath idiots head straight home in their utes post training, they generally don't foist themselves upon the public in their post workout sweat drenched state.
So lets be clear, I love cycling and hoping Cadel finally breaks through for a win in this years Le Tour. However to the weekend wannabees why don't you consider pounding out a few km's of intervals at the end of a hard ride rather than parking your fat ass on the nice leather settee at Joondalup Dome. You might actually improve your sprint drop a few kgs and I know the leather will survive without your 2 hour ass print.
Till next time stay strong
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