It feels quiet alien to be tapping thoughts on the keyboard again. After all it has been 4 months since drama unfolded calling a halt to my ramblings online.
Life changing situations engulf every fibre of your existence. Each day is a pitched battle and being constantly on alert floods your system with debilitating stress hormones. Rest is a foreign concept and it is difficult to see or imagine a cessation of the difficulties or a return to normality. You continue introspection peeling away the layers of your psyche, questioning long held paradigms and delving deeper into your reserves.
All the while it is family that is foremost in your mind, pushing through the pain because they are really all that matter.
Imperceptibly little by little things improve, changes are made, lessons learned. Health returns and embrace daylight and recovery. The world you return to though is not the same. It's as if your clothes don't quite fit any more. The veil is lifted and you observe the world with its thin veneer of civility removed seeing things again as they really are.
As time passes you find that its you that has changed, or perhaps its simply a return to who you were. Renewal has brought with it welcome perspective.
A raft of acquaintances will have no idea of recent challenges but that is because I don't choose to play out my life's dramas on social media for all and sundry to pore over the minutia of daily existence. Thankfully friends are there and support has been ongoing and welcomed.
Lessons have been learnt, I have seen individuals driven by the almighty dollar shunning relationships and forgetting who gave them their start. I continue to witness the most crass intellectual arrogance from many who assume their singular existence is demonstrable proof of their methods.
All the while it is family that is foremost in your mind, pushing through the pain because they are really all that matter.
Imperceptibly little by little things improve, changes are made, lessons learned. Health returns and embrace daylight and recovery. The world you return to though is not the same. It's as if your clothes don't quite fit any more. The veil is lifted and you observe the world with its thin veneer of civility removed seeing things again as they really are.
As time passes you find that its you that has changed, or perhaps its simply a return to who you were. Renewal has brought with it welcome perspective.
A raft of acquaintances will have no idea of recent challenges but that is because I don't choose to play out my life's dramas on social media for all and sundry to pore over the minutia of daily existence. Thankfully friends are there and support has been ongoing and welcomed.
Lessons have been learnt, I have seen individuals driven by the almighty dollar shunning relationships and forgetting who gave them their start. I continue to witness the most crass intellectual arrogance from many who assume their singular existence is demonstrable proof of their methods.
It is remarkable how resilient the human spirit can be. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised, in some ways bouncing back is no different from the body adapting to a physical stress akin to the training response.
This has been the most challenging and difficult period in 44 years of existence, it is over, I am back and I am acutely aware of who my real friends are.
Lift strong
Thomo
