Dumb Shit I Seen in the GYM - Part 1

Can I commence by asking: why do we workout in the gym? We go to change our bodies to conform the twisted tangle of our physiques into the image in our minds eye, we do it to vent and refresh our soul and damn we do it so we look good and feel even better. Does that sound reasonable?

Why then dear reader is my gym filled with so many misguided poorly informed muppets who continue to perpetuate stupid myths and engage in acts of random stupidity. The dinosaurs didn't die out they are at my gym with their bloated bodies and small brains.

Now lets be clear I love lifting heavy weights and working out; there is no better tonic then pitting yourself against the iron and watching positive changes in your physique and health. However where did it say you have to act like a tool in the pursuit of your goals. To give you a sense of what I am alluding to let me detail the most recent top 5 idiotic behaviours I have observed:

Number 1: He who makes the most noise is the fittest! Why oh why do lunk heads grunt and groan in a ratio that is disproportionate to the amount they are lifting. Shut up and just do it!

Number 2: Working the jaw instead of the muscle group in question. You don't go to a bar or club to train so don't come to the gym to talk and socialise.

Number 3: Not working legs. Listen you have muscles below the waist line so perhaps worth training them particularly as you can gain a great training effect from working the biggest muscles in the body.

Number 4: Being on the gear and not working out hard. I don't give a shit if your on the gear (as long as you have trained hard for 10 years and got to your genetic potential without them) but I dont like you coming in with your fat fuck physique doing stuff all and then preening like some water laden wanna be coz all ur really did was stick a needle in your ass.

Number 5: Not planning workouts. I see the same knuckleheads come in week after week and do the same rubbish. They never track their progress therefore they never progress. My coach taught me that training is simply blue collar work, do the numbers that are forecast and then get out of the gym. You must always review your progress and keep pushing yourself through the numbers to better performances otherwise you look like the same loser as last year.

Now as an average athlete I can appreciate the difficulties in making constant progress but come on its hard enough without begin a twat once you get into the gym!!! Remember guys I'm watching you.